It was October and my husband and I took a much needed vacation. Our destination?...The Mayan Riviera, Mexico, a place where the daytime high is 30C and the average nighttime humidity is a whopping 94% during that season.
We were returning to our room after a long, leisurely sunny day on the beach. I noticed that Hubby was walking with the occasional odd skip in his step and asked " What in the world are you doing"? He mumbled words that I couldn't understand. "What was that"? I asked. Looking around suspiciously before speaking he whispered, " I...I think... I think they are lower here". Puzzled I asked " What is lower here"? "Shhhhh," he answered looking around again, quite alarmed that I hadn't lowered my voice. It was clear that he didn't want anyone to over hear our conversation.
"The...the "boys"... I think that with the heat they are hanging lower than usual". I burst out laughing! I learned that the testicles were located outside the body so that they were kept cooler thereby not impairing sperm production,... but really?...Was he just imagining it?
We reached our room and all the while on the way he would glance around and make that little skip. " Will you stop that"? I asked giggling, "It looks ridiculous." " I can't help it", he said, "It is so uncomfortable"!
We unlock our door and enter. Hubby grabs a magazine and into the bathroom he goes. Great, I think to myself. I have about half an hour just to read without any interruption.
I just sat down on the bed with remote in hand when all of a sudden I heard a yelp. "Whats wrong"? I call out. "They fell!... They fell into the water"! " What fell into the water"? I asked. " The "boys", they fell into the water when I sat on the toilet! That water is friggin freezing!", he yells. "Get lost" I reply between laughter.
You see, Hubby is quite the joker. He is able to turn a completely generic situation into something quite comical so it is difficult for me to understand when he is serious or not... Was he kidding?
"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!", he screams. With laughter now replaced by concern, I run into the bath and see hubby hunched over obviously in agony! " What's wrong"? I ask. With face twisted up and beads of sweat on his forehead he manages to say " They're gone". "What's gone"? I asked. "The..........The boys.........They're gone"! "Let me see", I said. Hubby straightens himself up as best he could and lifts his,... "lever" we will call it, for the purpose of this story. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! They were gone! Where once was two testicles was now just an area flatter than the plains of Saskatchewan! "Oh my gosh"! I cried. "Coming from the hot humid weather, the shock of the cold water must have caused them to ascend into the body! I glance over at the toilet and see the reason that "the boys" fell into the water...It is obvious he sat down while the seat was up. A trap many women fall into!
"What am I going to do"?, he cried, trying to relax as best he could. All the while his hand still holding up his "lever" as if afraid that it would run for cover too. "Let that thing go" I said. "I... I'm afraid to," he replied. Before I could answer, out shot "the boys" with the force of a pinball machine launching a new ball! "Ohhhhhhhh", he cries. Panting with relief, he looks down and sees his beloved "boys" back where they belonged.
Written By: Christine Taylor