Working in a hospital things can often be quite serious. When an easy going client gifted with humor comes along he/she can have the ability to remind us that we need to laugh. These types of clients likely have no idea just how much they contributed to making our day a little brighter.
One evening while reviewing and admitting a male client the nurse rolls her eyes and says "look what admitting wrote". Both the client and I had a look and under "Reason For Visit, " it read "Tubal Ligation".
We looked at each other and just shook our heads. Much to our surprise the kind hearted fellow pipes up and says with a laugh, "I better still be able to bare children when I leave here"!
Submitted by: Florida Nurse
It was October and my husband and I took a much needed vacation. Our destination?...The Mayan Riviera, Mexico, a place where the daytime high is 30C and the average nighttime humidity is a whopping 94% during that season.
We were returning to our room after a long, leisurely sunny day on the beach. I noticed that Hubby was walking with the occasional odd skip in his step and asked " What in the world are you doing"? He mumbled words that I couldn't understand. "What was that"? I asked. Looking around suspiciously before speaking he whispered, " I...I think... I think they are lower here". Puzzled I asked " What is lower here"? "Shhhhh," he answered looking around again, quite alarmed that I hadn't lowered my voice. It was clear that he didn't want anyone to over hear our conversation.
"The...the "boys"... I think that with the heat they are hanging lower than usual". I burst out laughing! I learned that the testicles were located outside the body so that they were kept cooler thereby not impairing sperm production,... but really?...Was he just imagining it?
We reached our room and all the while on the way he would glance around and make that little skip. " Will you stop that"? I asked giggling, "It looks ridiculous." " I can't help it", he said, "It is so uncomfortable"!
We unlock our door and enter. Hubby grabs a magazine and into the bathroom he goes. Great, I think to myself. I have about half an hour just to read without any interruption.
I just sat down on the bed with remote in hand when all of a sudden I heard a yelp. "Whats wrong"? I call out. "They fell!... They fell into the water"! " What fell into the water"? I asked. " The "boys", they fell into the water when I sat on the toilet! That water is friggin freezing!", he yells. "Get lost" I reply between laughter.
You see, Hubby is quite the joker. He is able to turn a completely generic situation into something quite comical so it is difficult for me to understand when he is serious or not... Was he kidding?
"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!", he screams. With laughter now replaced by concern, I run into the bath and see hubby hunched over obviously in agony! " What's wrong"? I ask. With face twisted up and beads of sweat on his forehead he manages to say " They're gone". "What's gone"? I asked. "The..........The boys.........They're gone"! "Let me see", I said. Hubby straightens himself up as best he could and lifts his,... "lever" we will call it, for the purpose of this story. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! They were gone! Where once was two testicles was now just an area flatter than the plains of Saskatchewan! "Oh my gosh"! I cried. "Coming from the hot humid weather, the shock of the cold water must have caused them to ascend into the body! I glance over at the toilet and see the reason that "the boys" fell into the water...It is obvious he sat down while the seat was up. A trap many women fall into!
"What am I going to do"?, he cried, trying to relax as best he could. All the while his hand still holding up his "lever" as if afraid that it would run for cover too. "Let that thing go" I said. "I... I'm afraid to," he replied. Before I could answer, out shot "the boys" with the force of a pinball machine launching a new ball! "Ohhhhhhhh", he cries. Panting with relief, he looks down and sees his beloved "boys" back where they belonged.
Written by: Christine Taylor
For about five years now, I have on occasion, heard my husband exclaim "There is finger guy!", while never having been an actual witness to Finger Guy's vulgar act of aggression. From that description no doubt, you may have already figured out that Finger Guy gives the so called "middle finger salute".
Through out the years we would be driving in the car in and around our city when my husband would spot him and cry out his action. "There! See! Finger Guy gave us the finger! I saw it in the rear view mirror" Another time, "Aha! He just gave that guy the finger! See! Did you see it"? "No Reese, I didn't see it," I responded. "Did you see it! Reanne? Did you"? He would ask one daughter or another. "No Dad, I didn't see it either", the response would be. " You guys don't believe me do you?", hubby would ask. " Yes yes, we believe you, we are always just too late to see it". The truth was I only ever got a glimpse of part of the bike the guy rode, I couldn't even tell you the colour of it. Another time I caught a glimpse of the back of his upper torso as he had already rode past us.
My husband explained that if Finger Guy saw you looking at him, or even thinks you looked at him he would throw up the middle guy. "Many times he tosses the offending digit up in the air after someone has passed him", he added. " I once braked after he gestured because the guy in front of me slowed and Finger Guy quickly turned around and went the other way," Hubby said.
After all this time and the many excited questions of "Did you see him?"... I can finally confirm that I have.
It was a beautiful bright sunny morning just this past week, when coming home from an errand, the light at an intersection I was approaching turned red. As I stopped, a man crossed the street right in front of my car and at a glance it looked as though both his wrists were bandaged. Of course this drew my attention and I quickly realized it was just the rings of white plastic shopping bags twisted around his wrists with the contents of the bags being supported on the cross bar of the bike. As I waited for the light to change the man looked at me and suddenly up went the finger !
It seems so silly that witnessing this one obscene gesture could bring about a funny kind of excitement that I would not have expected. "Oh!, I saw him! I saw Him!", I thought to myself. " Now I can tell Reese I saw him!" I couldn't wait to get home and text Hubby! Why?... I really don't know... Maybe because it seemed to turn into a bit of a game over the years,... sort of like "I Spy". Tell him promptly is what I did. "You didn't believe me, did you?", was his reply with an Lol added. " I told U", was the next text I received. After that I was just like Hubby. When our kids came home I told them "I saw Finger Guy! Did you ever see him? Dad has been talking about him for years now!
No, you didn't see him"?. " I only caught a glimpse of him", one daughter replied. " I've never seen him give the finger yet", she said. Now I know how Hubby felt.
From what hubby has observed, the poor man is homeless and rides his bike everywhere loaded down with his his badly worn out possessions. Hubby seemed to have found two places that the man calls home. One is in a small tent under a bridge just a few kilometres from our neighbourhood and the other is somewhere in the downtown area.
When Finger Guy made his vulgar gesture I happened to notice that his face lacked the usual picture of aggression that often accompanies such rude non verbal communication. In fact, his face lacked any expression at all. I wondered if it is just a habit or if he really was offended by me. It would be difficult to conclude what is going on in his mind or how he perceives others and their actions. Given the fact that he turned around after the car braked when he gestured at Hubby, it seems then that he may have felt threatened.
I would have liked to give the man a friendly wave but he may have perceived it as though I were mocking him so although I had that silly bout of excitement I thought it best to show no emotion at all. It is sad actually. It would have been nice to be able to show some kindness some way but I was unsure how to go about it. Because there are no reports of physical assaults in the area by this man I believe he is not dangerous but still I would prefer to be cautious.
Perhaps one day we will be able to say a kind hello.
Written by Christine Taylor
Submitted by Ivan